Since my birth, I was steeped in Muslim culture. From the age of 12, I began to practice Islam, the religion of my country and of my family, while severely condemning Christianity. My goal was then to resemble, or rather to imitate as much as possible Mohammed, the founder of Islam. I fasted often, spent a lot of time in the Mosque, the Muslim's place of prayer, and read the Koran, their "Holy" book, every day. Praying to Allah five times a day, turning towards Mecca, was a daily exercise of faith and sincerity. My religious fervor was growing during Ramadan. I dreamed that I could one day take a trip to Mecca, the holy place of Islam, the supreme experience for the Muslim. My faith would have reached its peak.
At the age of 18, I came to France to study Physics, Chemistry and Mathematics at the University of Caen. There I was contacted for the first time by a Christian woman who ran a Bible booth at the university canteen. I wasn't hoping for more, because finally I had the opportunity to preach Islam to a Christian! Until then, I knew nothing about the Bible other than that it was "falsified", according to what I had learned as a Muslim. Islam had taught me that Christians made Jesus the Son of God, and to me that was no more and no less than unforgivable blasphemy. So I didn't even dare let that idea cross my mind, for that would have been my eternal condemnation. In addition, the Quran states this: "Say:
Time passed, and I attended some church meetings. It has helped me understand the gospel of salvation. The love of God, manifested at the cross, had overwhelmed me, I who knew only one sovereign God, Mighty, without any indulgence for the sinner. When I was told about this love, I had tears in my eyes, but I still remained sure that Islam was the right and the best way. Nevertheless, a violent fight had broken out within me. So I decided to study and compare the Bible and the Koran. As I read I realized that the Bible was something other than what I pictured; and especially that the image that I had of Jesus was completely false. From abroad, Jesus became for me a unique man! Who has, like him, consoled the poor, welcomed rejected men, healed the wounds of all the oppressed? Who, like him, spoke with simplicity and beauty of God who loves the unfortunate and takes the side of the humiliated? But above all, who, like him, revealed the God the Father of all those who place their trust in him?
After the research, I began to have doubts about the falsification of the Bible, but I still could not believe neither in the Trinity, nor in the divine sonship of Jesus, let alone in his crucifixion. Indeed, Islam simply denies that Jesus was crucified. Another thing that kept me from believing was my family. To convert and leave Islam is to deny one's family, one's homeland. The price seemed too high to me. It was always the side where my family, my friends were, that tipped in the balance. At the end of 2 years, I had come to no longer bear to hear about the Gospel, it frustrated me so much. If I chatted with friends, it always ended in arguments.
Although I refused the gospel, I enjoyed spending time with the pastor's family. Monday August 5 was a day like so many others at home. Of course, I still had to hear the Gospel. It was getting harder and harder to resist the love of Christ, but this time around, I decided it was too much, and I never wanted to hear from Jesus Christ again! I insisted that they take me home. To calm myself down, I picked up the Quran and began to read it. The words came out of my lips, but my heart remained dry, unlike usual. So I decided to sleep. It was two in the morning. In my bed, I began to pray to Allah, as I did every night, but emptiness surrounded me as much as silence. Despite everything I tried, I didn't couldn't find that peace of heart that I wanted so much right now. Suddenly, pushed by an invisible force, I cried out: "God, whoever you are, reveal yourself to me!" It was then that the name of Jesus began to resonate in my head, then in my whole being. The presence of Jesus imposed itself with incredible clarity. "Is that you, Jesus?" I asked, when I was absolutely not thinking about it. My body was shaking! "If it is you Jesus, I accept you, I added". The feeling that came over me at that moment is indescribable. I knew that Jesus is really from another world, from the world of God. But I couldn't resign myself to it. Also, immediately afterwards, I started shouting: "no, no, no ...", because I realized that I said something that was going to change my life. But I couldn't run away from the name of Jesus; his presence of Jesus had invaded the room.
I staggered down the stairs to phone the pastor. It was 2.15 am when, trembling, I automatically dialed his number. "I absolutely have to talk to the pastor!" I said to his wife. I didn't give any details about why I was asking them to come see me in the middle of the night. They told me later that by the tone of my voice they thought I was having a nervous breakdown. I was sitting at the back of the room when they arrived. Seeing the pastor, I jumped into his arms! He quickly asked me what was going on. In tears, I answered him: "I must accept Jesus in my life!" I was then so moved that I had no more strength in my legs; I myself leaned against the pastor to go to his office. Once I was seated, he repeated his question to me because he did not understand my request. I told him again that I wanted to accept Jesus Christ into my life. Hearing this, a smile lit the pastor's face, and it took a great effort not to jump into my arms. I knew the plan of salvation so well, but now I wanted it to become a reality in my life. The pastor asked me if I believed Jesus to be the Son of God and the true God. -Yes, I think so, I replied! - Do you believe, Jamel, that Christ died on the cross for your sins, and that He rose to ensure you eternal life in Him? - Yes, I think so! - To all who received him, continued the pastor, to those who believe in his name, He gave the power to become His children. Do you think he can make you his child? - Oh yes, I think so! We knelt in prayer, and I received Jesus Christ into my life, as my Savior and my Master. What peace flooded my heart, a peace I had never known before! I finally spoke to God as my Heavenly Father, and this thanks to Jesus who was crucified and risen for me.
I did not mention the problem of sin during this testimony. But I have to do it now so that everyone understands that this is the crux of the matter in any religion. How can a defiled, wicked, unworthy man stand before God? The feeling of evil has always tormented me. My efforts to meet God's requirements were in vain. How could I have obtained forgiveness for unspeakable offenses? Only Jesus Christ could make the unthinkable become possible, may God open his arms to welcome me in his grace and his love!
If you have any questions for me, write to Jamel at abdelkrim@thompsonic.com .
[Source: http://pedson.blogspot.com/2008/01/islam-into-christianity-jamel-morocco.html]
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